Worldless - Heist

"Three minutes. That's all we have once it starts."

Three minutes. Kira always makes it sound so simple.

"Because last time you said you heard me, and then—"

"I said I hear you."

She doesn't trust me. Fair. I wouldn't trust me either.

"The sequence matters. Blue first, then—"

"Red, yellow, green. I know."

"If you know, why did you just—"

"Testing if you were paying attention."

Silence. Good. Let her stew on that.

"Real funny. You think this is a game?"

"Everything's a game if you play it right."

"Felix is already inside. He's waiting for our signal."

Felix. Always Felix. Like he's some kind of saint.

"How long's he been there?"

"Twenty minutes. Maybe twenty-five."

"He knows what he's doing."

No one knows what they're doing. We're all just pretending.

"What about the others?"

"Marcy's monitoring. Jin's on standby."

Which means Chen's probably drunk. Or high. Or both.

"We can't afford any mistakes."

"When have I ever made a mistake?"

"You want the list chronologically or alphabetically?"

Funny. She thinks she knows me.

"Fair? You think any of this is about fair?"

No. Nothing's ever been about fair.

"They changed the protocols last week."

"Do you? Because if you don't—"

I always know. That's the problem.

"Your hand's shaking."

"I can see it from here."

Damn. Focus. Breathe.

"You got something to say?"

She's worried. I can hear it in the way she's not saying it.

"Once we're in, no communication for ninety seconds."

"Ninety seconds of silence. Think you can handle that?"

"I've been handling silence my whole life."

Too much. Pulled back the curtain too far.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Forget it."

"No, seriously. What—"

Please. Just drop it.

"Fine. But after this is over—"

"After this is over, we won't need to have these conversations."

"You really believe that?"

No. But believing is easier than knowing.

"Felix just sent the first signal."

"You were busy being cryptic."

Time moves different when you're nowhere.

"Everyone's ready. Except..."

"You sure you're good for this?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been... different. Since the last job."

Different. If only she knew.

"You keep saying that."

"Because it keeps being true."

"I don't care what Marcy thinks."

"She's just worried about you. We all are."

Worry. Like it's some kind of gift.

"Save your worry for the job."

"The job's simple. You're complicated."

I'm not complicated. I'm just empty.

"Two minutes until Felix sends the second signal."

"Then we should move."

"That thing you do. When we're inside. Don't do it."

"You know what thing."

The thing where I disappear. Even when I'm standing right there.

"I don't do anything."

"That's the problem. You go... quiet."

"I thought quiet was good."

"Not that kind of quiet. The other kind."

The kind where I forget I exist.

"Promise me you'll stay present. Stay here."

Here. Where's here when you don't belong anywhere?

"Mean it this time."

Lie. But a necessary one.

"Felix just—no, wait. False alarm."

"That's not like him."

Something's wrong. I can feel it in the space between breaths.

"Not yet. Give him thirty seconds."

"And if he doesn't—"

Faith. Must be nice to have it.

"You never told me."

"Why you're really doing this."

"Same reason as everyone else."

"No. Everyone else I understand. You're—"

"I was going to say unclear."

Unclear. That's one word for it.

"Maybe that's the point."

"What, being mysterious?"

"You're not nothing."

Yes, I am. That's why I'm perfect for this.

"Felix sent it. Second signal's live."

"Remember—blue first."

"And if something goes wrong—"

"Nothing will go wrong."

"Then we handle it."

We. Like I'm part of something.

"You know what's waiting for us in there?"

"Same thing that's always waiting."

"A chance to be someone else."

Or in my case, a chance to be someone at all.

"That's not why we're doing this."

"We're doing this because—"

"Because we have to. I know the speech."

"It's not a speech. It's the truth."

Truth. Another luxury I can't afford.

Numbers make sense. People don't.

"After we get through the third checkpoint—"

"I know what to do."

"You don't trust me."

"I trust you. I just don't understand you."

"Any word from Chen?"

"That's either really good or really bad."

"With Chen? Usually bad."

With anyone. Trust is just disappointment waiting to happen.

"No one's born ready for this."

No one's born for anything. We just pretend we belong.

"Don't disappear on me in there."

I will. I always do.

"Remember what I said."

Moving now. Kira's beside me but already I'm fading. It's easier this way. When you're nobody, you can walk through anything. No fear because there's nothing to lose. No hesitation because there's nothing to protect.

She thinks I have a death wish. She's wrong. You have to be alive first to wish for death.

The sequence. Blue first. My hands know what to do even if my mind's already gone. This is what I'm good at. Being absent. Being precise. Being nothing but function.

Kira's breathing hard. Nervous. She cares too much. About the job. About the outcome. About me. Waste of energy.

Red now. Then yellow. Felix is somewhere ahead, doing his part. Dependable Felix. Solid Felix. Everything I'm not.

Green. Done. Ninety seconds of silence almost over. Almost time to pretend again.

Her voice sounds different. Relieved? Disappointed I didn't vanish completely?

"Felix should be—"

Funny, asking her to trust what isn't there.

"Marcy, you copy?"

"Loud and clear. Readings are normal."

"Chen?"

"Present and accounted for, ladies."

Chen sounds sober. Minor miracle.

"Third checkpoint in forty-five seconds."

"Would I lie to you?"

True. But only about the small things.

"Felix, you in position?"

"Affirmative. Ran into a small hiccup earlier."

"Define small."

"Handled. Don't worry about it."

Everyone's always handling things. Until they're not.

"Jin, you ready with the extraction?"

"Born ready, boss."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?"

Because it's easier than admitting we're all improvising.

"Thirty seconds to checkpoint."

"No. This one's different."

Or not see. Depending on how empty I can make myself.

"I don't like surprises."

"You don't like anything."

"Wrong line of work for that."

Wrong world for that.

"Twenty seconds. Marcy, any changes?"

"Negative. All quiet."

"Too quiet?"

"Just quiet enough."

Quiet. My natural habitat.

"You're doing that thing again."

"Going away. I can see it in your shoulders."

"My shoulders are fine."

"They're not. They do this... droppy thing."

"Droppy isn't a word."

"It is when you do it."

Ten seconds. Time to stop existing again.

"Remember what you promised."

She's right. I'm already gone.

"This is it. The big one."

"Every one's the big one."

"No. This one's different. This one—"

"Changes everything. I know."

No. Nothing changes. We just rearrange the pieces.

Moving through space like water. Like air. Like nothing. This is where I excel. In the absence. In the gap between real and not.

Kira's still talking. I can hear her but the words don't land. They pass through me like I'm made of mesh. This is what she hates. This is what makes me perfect for this.

The thing about not belonging anywhere is that you can slip through cracks others can't even see. When you have no shape, you can take any shape. When you have no name that matters, you can be anyone.

Which is what I am right now. No one doing something that requires someone. The paradox of my existence.

Automatic response. Like breathing.

"Because you just walked past—"

The two words I should never say.

"Felix, status?"

"In position. Waiting for your signal."

"Chen?"

"Getting antsy here, people."

"Patience."

"Not my strong suit."

Nothing's anybody's strong suit. We're all just weak in different ways.

"There. You see it?"

Sometimes the best theft is of something no one knows exists.

"I don't—wait. Oh."

To everything except myself.

"This changes things."

"But if they realize—"

"You can't know that."

Because I understand not being noticed. It's my superpower.

"Marcy, you getting this?"

"Getting what? Readings are unchanged."

"Perfect."

"What's perfect? What am I missing?"

"Everything. That's the point."

The point is there is no point. Just motion. Just the job. Just the next sixty seconds.

"Which impossible? We've got several running."

Every day's impossible when you're not supposed to exist.

"Jin, start your approach."

"Copy that. Two minutes out."

"Two minutes. That's all we need."

"To become someone else."

"I thought you didn't want to be someone else."

"I don't want to be anyone."

"That's not the same thing."

It is when you've never been anyone to begin with.

"You keep asking that."

"You keep not answering."

"Even when I'm not here?"

She understands. Maybe that's worse.

Everything happens at once now. Felix moving. Jin approaching. Chen doing whatever Chen does. Marcy watching numbers that can't measure what matters.

And me? I'm doing what I do best.

Disappearing in plain sight.

The thing about being nowhere is that you can be everywhere. When you don't exist, you can't be caught. When you're already absent, you can't be lost.

Kira's hand on my shoulder. Anchoring me. Or trying to.

"Don't bring me back. Not yet."

"I promised to stay present. This is my version of present."

Present tense. Past tense. Future tense. All the same when you're nobody.

"I need you here for this part."

"There is no all of me."

"Stop pretending you don't matter."

"Felix?"

"Done. Clean exit."

"Chen?"

"Likewise. Though I could use a drink."

"After."

"Always after. Never during."

Never. Always. Words that mean something to people who exist in time.

Nothing's ever just like that. But let them believe.

"No. This was you. Your plan. Your—"

"Don't make me into something."

"You are something."

"That's the problem."

Being something when you're supposed to be nothing. The eternal conflict.

"Everyone ready?"

"Ready."

"Ready enough."

Ready. Like it's a state of being instead of a lie we tell.

"Where else would I go?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

Nowhere. Everywhere. The same place.

Lie. Truth. Does it matter when you're nobody?

"For being nobody. It saved us today."

Saved. Like I'm some kind of hero instead of just empty.

"Because tomorrow I'll still be nobody."

"Maybe that's enough."

It's never enough. But it's all I have.

For now. The only promise I can make.

Moving toward extraction. Toward Jin. Toward the others. Toward another job completed. Another moment of pretending I'm part of something.

But I know the truth.

When you're worldless, every heist is the same. You're just stealing moments of belonging that were never yours to begin with.